All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
