I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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