Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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