Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
