I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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