we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
