its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
