People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The adults are the big ones right?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
