allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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