i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
