I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
