Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
