Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
