DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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