i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
