Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
