Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize