Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
