I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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