Will you blow on my dice?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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