Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Someone signed my nipple.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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