i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
