Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My ATM looks so different sober.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
tell me about the fingering
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