I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Enjoy the penises
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
