just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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