i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize