After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
