The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
