You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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