I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize