that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
