Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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