all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
