he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
