It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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