ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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