I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
