so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
