for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
