I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
