Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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