Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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