the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize