summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
