i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
