Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
