was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
