Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
