I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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