Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
