Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
