Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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