FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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