:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
