You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
it was like eating out sand paper
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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