hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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