worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I didn't notice because vodka
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
