the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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