I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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