Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
